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Elfbytes March '07

 

(Note: this is not your average cut and paste, we actually write this stuff.)

This is for product starting to ship in May.

This months Elfbyte credit goes to James, Ethan, Craig, Brock & David

For your convenience, click links below to jump to a certain Publisher.

Independent Comics  |  Dark Horse Comics  |  DC Comics
Image Comics  |  Marvel Comics  |  Toys & Stuff

Remember to get your orders in by March 21st!

 
 
 INDEPENDENT COMICS HIGHLIGHTS
 
 

ABOUT COMICS

SCHULZ’S YOUTHWritten and illustrated by Charles M. Schulz.  A bunch of single panel cartoons that tells us how hard it is to be a teenager in the 50s & 60s.

 

ADV FILMS

ANNE FREAKS VOL 1Written and illustrated by Tomohiro Nagai.  Anne is a bright, pretty teenager who is normal in every way.  Except that she’s on a mission to kill her father, who is the leader of a crazy cult.

 

AIT/PLANETLAR

BLACK DIAMOND #1Written by Larry Young.  Illustrated by Jon Proctor.  Fifty years from now, an elevated highway spans the United States.  Originally designed to thwart airplane terrorists, its become a mess overrun by speed demons and drug runners.  So when the government finally decides to clean up the Black Diamond, a guy’s gotta steal a car and save his wife from road-terrorists.

HOMELESS CHANNEL GNWritten and illustrated by Matt Silady.  Darcy Shaw starts a 24 hour cable network called the Homeless Channel which follows her sister on the streets.  Then corporate sponsors get involved, and suddenly using homeless people for entertainment seems like a bad idea.

 

AMAZE INK/SLAVE LABOR GRAPHICS

THE CLARENCE PRINCIPLE GN.  Written by Fahed Said.  Illustrated by Shari Chankham.  Clarence wakes up on the other side of his own suicide and embarks on a surreal journey in the great beyond.  A neat looking book with strong Osamu Tezuka vibes.

 

ARCANA STUDIO

BANZAI GIRL MANGA VOL 1 TPBy Jinky Coronado & Wilson Tortosa.  Cartoonist and model Jinky Coronado writes and illustrates adventures about a girl named oddly enough, Jinky Coronado, a schoolgirl that fights tentacle monsters.  The jokes just write themselves.

BANZAI GIRLS #1By Jinky Coronado & Paul S. Brittain.  Now Jinky is a pop star touring the world and fighting hairy monsters.  In a few years, Jinky will shave her head, proclaim herself the anti-Christ, and attempt suicide. 

 

ASPEN

SOULFIRE: NEW WORLD ORDER #0Written by J.T. Krul.  Illustrated by Francisco Herrera.  As I understand it, this is Soulfire Volume 2.  It’s important to some of you, I’m sure.  Equally important is that pseudo-artist Michael Turner will not illustrate Vol 2, but hand the artistic chores off to Humberto Ramos-clone Francisco Herrera.  But now the book might come out on time. Hah-Ah!

 

BLUEWATER PRODUCTIONS

VICTORIA’S SECRET SERVICE: NEMESIS RISING #1 of 5By Darren Davis, Terrance Griep and Nadir Balan.  Hey look!  Blue Water Productions have escaped the Christ-tastic clutches of Alias Enterprises!  Good for them!  The supermodel secret agents travel to London to find the stolen Crown Jewels.

RAY HARRYHAUSEN PRESENTS: WRATH OF THE TITANS #1 of 4By Darren Davis and Nadir Balan.  The sequel to Harryhausen’s CLASH OF THE TITANS, Perseus has become the king of Argos and ushered in an age of peace.  But of course giant monsters are right around the corner.  So it won't be borring.

 

BOOM STUDIOS

TALENT VOL 1 TPBy Chris Golden & Tom Sniegoski and Paul Azaceta.  Nicholas Dane is the only survivor of a plane crash.  As mysterious men arrive to kill him, Dane discovers that he can channel the talents of the other dead passengers. Creepy!

 

D.E. DYNAMITE ENTERTAINMENT

PAINKILLER JANE #1Written by Joe Quesada & Jimmy Palmiotti.  Illustrated by Lee Moder.  Painkiller Jane fights terrorists.  Yes, there are variant covers.

DARK XENA #1Written by John Layman.  Illustrated by Noah Salonga.  This story bridges the gap between the end of the series and the beginning of the Xena comics series.  Sapphic companion Gabrielle makes a wish to the gods to bring the deceased Warrior Princess back to life.  Except she comes back a total, evil bitch.  Would anyone really notice?

CLASSIC BATTLESTAR GALACTICA VOL 1 TPWritten by Rick Remender.  Illustrated by Carlos Rafael.  If anyone’s still trying to convince themselves that the old Battlestar was a good TV show, they can pick up this TP and hit themselves in the face with it.

HIGHLANDER VOL 1 TPWritten by Brandon Jerwa & Michael Avon Oeming.  Illustrated by Lee Moder.  Heeeere we are!  Born to be Kings!  We’re the Princes of the U-ni-veerrrssee! That's about all I can add to help sell this book. There are pretty covers by Dorman however.

 

DEL REY

AVRIL LAVIGNE’S MAKE 5 WISHES VOL 1 TPWritten by Joshua Dysart.  Illustrated by Camila D’Errico.  Pod person and Canadian Content requisition Avril Lavigne has her own manga now?  The story follows teenage Hana who feels like a nobody.  She only interacts with online chat people, where she hides behind fake personalities.  Can the music of Avril Lavigne save this poor shut in? 

 

DEVIL’S DUE PUBLISHING

HACK/SLASH: THE SERIES #1Written by Tim Seeley.  Illustrated by Emily Stone.  Cassie kills horror movie killers.  In fact, she stabs them a lot.  Her first opponent is some dude named Dr. Gross.  I think at some point, he’s gonna get stabbed. Well... maybe just hacked or slashed.

THE NYE INCIDENTS #1 of 5Written by Craig Spector & Whitley Strieber.  Illustrated by Aadi Salman.  A killer is loose in a community full of alien abductees, medical examiner Lynn Devlin must attempt to use every trick in her medical book not to come off as a cheap imitation of Dana Scully.

GI JOE: STORM SHADOW #1Written by Larry Hama.  Illustrated by Mark Robinson.  Storm Shadow can kill anyone he wants!  Storm Shadow cuts off heads ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it.  This guy is so crazy and awesome that he flips out ALL the time.  I heard that that Storm Shadow was eating at a diner.  And when some dude dropped a spoon Storm Shadow killed the whole town.  My friend Mark said that he saw Storm Shadow totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window. Honest truth. Ninjas live by there own set of rules. Just ask Larry Hama at the next comic convention.

 

DRAWN & QUARTERLY

EXIT WOUNDS HCBy Rutu Modan.  In Tel Aviv, Koby Franco receives a call from a female soldier.  Learning that his estranged father has been a victim of a suicide bombing in Hadera, Koby and the soldier search for clues.

JAMES STURM’S AMERICA HCWritten and illustrated by James Sturm.  Three stories by the guy that gave us FANTASTIC FOUR: UNSTABLE MOLECULES.  Three stories set in three different eras of America: “The Revival” is about pioneers searching for a home; “Hundreds of Feet Below Daylight” is about ghost towns gutted by greed and racism, and “The Golems Mighty Swing” is about the distraction and fantasies of popular entertainment (in this case, baseball.  Totally worth checking out.

 

FOX ATOMIC COMICS

THE HILLS HAVE EYES: THE BEGINNING GNWritten by Jimmy Palmiotti.  Illustrated by John Higgins.  See the events that spawns the crazy family of desert mutants.  A lovely companion to the upcoming Hills Have Eyes 2 film.

 

IDW PUBLISHING

TANK GIRL: THE GIFTING #1The co-creator of Tank-Girl returns to his creation along with talented artist Ashley Wood to deliver new tales of chaos and mayhem Tank-Girl style.  This series promises to provide a long overdue jolt of high-octane ass-kicking fun.  It’s been twelve years since we’ve seen Tank Girl, our punk rock little heroine.  Guess what?  She sold out.  She wears business suits now.  She’s trying to pull of the “rebel by not rebelling” but it’s probably a load of crap.

30 DAYS OF NIGHT: EBEN AND STELLA #1Written by Steve Niles & Kelly Sue DeConnick.  Illustrated by Justin Randall.  This story fills in the gap between Dark Days and Return to Barrow.  Volume 2.5, if you will.

TRANSFORMERS MEGATRON: ORIGIN #1Written by Eric Holmes.  Illustrated by Alex Milne.  Written by the guy who designed the Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction video game.  Super nice guy.  Super cool game.  He is a true Transformer fan.  So it’s perfect reasoning that leads us to deduce that this will be the finest Megatron comic ever produced.  No Pressure Eric.  Check out the interview: http://transfans.net/interviews_holmes.php

Finally we get the story everyone wants to know!  Think Megatron Year One!

TRANSFORMERS: THE ARK – A COMPLETE COMPENDIUM OF TRANSFORMERS ANIMATION MODELSBy Jim Sorenson, William Foster, and Don Figueroa.  This book collects over 500 of the animation models from the classic TV show. Wholly Crap!!!

SPIKE: ASYLUM TPWritten by Bryan Lynch.  Illustrated by Franco Urru.  Spike gets locked away in an insane asylum!  That way he doesn’t get to guest star in Buffy’s new comic.

ART OF ANGEL: THE PREMIERE COLLECTIONBy David Messina, Joe Corroney, Franco Urru, Fernando Goni, and more.  A collection of the many variant covers from all the Angel & Spike minis and one-shots to date collected in a fancy-dancy hardcover.

 

MARKOSIA

VENGEANCE OF THE VAPOR #1Written by Sal Cipriano.  Illustraetd by Jok.  I don’t know what this book is about but it sounds like a fart joke.  It’s probably better than a fart joke. You may have to ask Andrew Foley who is usually found at our friends at Happy Harbor Comics... I hear he is not that happy with Markosia and their business tactics.

 

ONI PRESS

THE DAMNED VOL 1: THREE DAYS DEAD TPWritten by Cullen Bunn.  Illustrated by Brian Hurtt.  Two feuding mob families were going to make nice until one double-crossed the other kidnapped a book-keeper with a damning ledger.  Now an undead corpse named Eddie has to solve the case and not get re-killed by cranky monsters.

MAINTENANCE VOL 1: IT’S A DIRTY JOB TPWritten by Jim Massey.  Illustrated by Robbi Rodriguez.  Doug and Manny have a worse job than you do.  They are janitors for TerroMax, an evil-science think-tank.  They clean up after time-machine mishaps, cavemen with jetpacks, and alien repomen.

 

PANTHEON BOOKS

THE RABBI’S CAT SC.  Written and illustrated by Joann Sfar.  I think this one is going to be one of those indie hit books of the year:  Algeria in the 1930s: a rabbi discovers that his cat can speak.  Except it lies all the time (the first lie being that he didn’t eat the parrot).  Soon the rabbi, his daughter and the cat get caught up in arguments and debate over important – and trivial – matters of life, until the daughter leaves for Paris to marry and master and cat must go to meet their new family.

 

TOKYOPOP

AVALON HIGH: CORONATION VOL 1: THE MERLIN PROPHECYWritten and illustrated by Meg Cabot.  I don’t understand how medieval things can be such an attractive fantasy.  It wasn’t all fancy dresses and feasts and jousting.  There was plague.  And people crapped out of windows.  There was plague BECAUSE people crapped out of windows.  And chances are, if you’re the type of person who fantasizes about dressing up in medieval costumes, you’re the least equipped to survive in medieval times.  Because God likes to tease you like that.

BRAVE STORY VOL 1Written by Miyuki Miyabo.  Illustrated by Yoichiro Ono.  Wataru’s life sucks.  His dad leaves him, his mother is sick, so he travels to a magical realm of magic and monsters to find the Goddess of Destiny to fix his crappy fate.  Or, you know, becomes addicted to heroin.

KING OF THORN VOL 1Written and illustrated by Yuji Iwahara.  Kasumi and her twin sister are infected with a deadly virus with no known cure.  Kasumi is cryogenically frozen and wakes up in a world of violent monsters.  Will she find out where she is and what happened to her sister?

 

TWOMORROWS

IMAGE COMICS: THE ROAD TO INDEPENDENCEBy various.  A profile of what happened to create Image Comics, the most successful independent publisher of all time.  With interviews and art from everyone except Rob Liefeld, apparently.  You can bet that they’ll talk about him a lot, though.  Sadly, today’s dwindling marketplace and Diamond Comic Distribution’s chokehold on the marketplace means that there is absolutely no chance that another company like Image Comics could form today.  Isn’t that sad?

 

VIRGIN COMICS

WALK-IN #6  Written and illustrated by Jeff Parker.  This fantastic new series covers everything from parallel dimensions, Russian gangsters, psychic powers, and sexy cabaret dancers.  This stand alone issue should provide an excellent example of the bizarre fun you’ve been missing and dig its hooks into you to bring you back. 

 
 
DARK HORSE COMICS HIGHLIGHTS
 
 

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER OMNIBUS VOL 1 TP.  Written by Joss Whedon, Fabian Nicieza, Chris Golden, Dan Brereton, and Scott Lobdell.  Illustrated by Paul Lee, Eric Powell, Cliff Richards, and Will Conrad.  Dark Horse dazzles us with more Buffy goodness than you can shake a pointy stick at.  This collects Buffy stories set in the first three seasons of the show, including a more faithful adaptation of Whedon’s screenplay to the Buffy movie, with the forgettable Kristy Swanson.

DWIGHT T. ALBATROSS’S THE GOON NOIR TP.  Written by Patton Oswalt, Steve Niles, Brian Posehn, John Arcudi, Arvid Nelson, Eric Powell and more.  Illustrated by Eric Powell, Ryan Sook, Tony Moore, Kevin Nowland, Humberto Ramos and more.  Since Eric Powell can’t make the Goon interesting, he turns it over to some creators who might stand a chance.  KNIFE IN THE EYE!

ALIENS OMNIBUS VOL 1 TP.  Written by Mark Verheiden.  Illustrated by Mark Nelson, Den Beauvais, and Sam Kieth.  You know the deal.  A giant trade paperback that collects, well, other trade paperbacks.  Truly, we live in a world of miracles.

CHUNCHU: THE GENOCIDE FIEND VOL 1 TP.  Written by Kim Sung-Jae.  Illustrated by Kim Byung-Jin.  I’m not sure what this is about, but I really like the title of the book.  So much so, that I’m going to get business cards with “Genocide Fiend” as my occupation.   But about the book: Twin sons are born to an emperor; only one son is prophesized as a demon and one as the new emperor.  But which kid is which?

JUMP ON HERE!  STAR WARS REBELLION #16.  Written by Rob Williams.  Illustrated by Michel Lacombe.  Cover by Ryan Sook.  Part 1 of the Ahakista Gambit.  Wyl Tarson is one of the most notorious criminals in the galaxy.  He’s also a Rebel spy.  He’s just been found out.  It’s not looking good for Wyl.

 
     
 
DC COMICS HIGHLIGHTS
 
 

DC UNIVERSE

JUMP ON HERE!  COUNTDOWN #51-48.  Written by Paul Dini and others.  Illustrated by Keith Giffen and others.  Follwing the success of DC’s 52, and with just a hint of “match this.” Bravado aimed at a certain house of ideas, DC has announced another weekly series; this time featuring the likes of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. How fantastic is it to have a book out on time every week, this is top notch old school. If only Marvel would match it (or at least try a monthly. Maybe that's why Marc Bagley is leaving Ultimate Spider-man?)

HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GO!  Another weekly series that counting down BACKWARDS from 52 down to ZERO!  What is it counting down to?  Fanboy poverty, I think.

JUMP ON HERE!  DETECTIVE COMICS #832.  Written by Royal McGraw.  Illustrated by Andy Clarke.  Cover by Simone Bianchi.  I could make bad jokes like, “Hey Detective comics is getting the Royal treatment” or “who wrote this…” but instead I’ll just tempt you with the plot. Batman must save the Terrible Trio from someone who is hunting bad guys. Does he even care to? Ooh. Ahh.

JUMP ON HERE! BATMAN #666.  Written by Grant Morrison.  Illustrated by Andy Kubert.  Meet Damian Wayne, the Batman of Tomorrow: He’s got 24 hours to stop the battle of Armageddon.  It’s the Son of the Bat vs. the Prince of Darkness!

This takes place, 15 years in the future and Bruce Wayne’s son Damian Wayne has assumed the mantle of the Bat (poor Tim Drake gets the shaft) and now is fighting to overcome his dark lineage (see Rah’s Al Gul) and save Gotham from plagues, terrorism and weather. Yes weather.

ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #5 By Jim Lee and Frank Miller.  Re-solicited... again for the 4th Time.  Is anyone else out there wondering if Keith Giffen can draw 104 issues (52 plus countdown) before Jim Lee can draw 6?

BATMAN: TURNING POINTS TP.  Written by Greg Rucka, Chuck Dixon, and Ed Brubaker.  Illustrated by Steve Lieber, Paul Pope, and others.  Cover by Tim Sale.  Three of the best writers in the industry, Greg Rucka (Queen and Country, Wolverine, Wonder Woman), Chuck Dixon (grossly underappreciated for his efforts on Way of the Rat, Nightwing and Samurai) and Ed Brubaker (Sleeper, Daredevil & Captain America) explore the ever-changing relationship between Batman and Commissioner Gordon. From their uneasy alliance, to mutual respect and finally their unspoken interdependence. There are many events that they have witnessed together: from Year One, to Knightfall, through No Man’s Land. This book explores the friendship between Batman & Commissioner Gordon throughout.

GOTHAM CENTRAL VOL 5: DEAD ROBIN TP.  Written by Greg Rucka & Ed Brubaker.  Illustrated by Kano & Stefano Gaudiano.  Dead teenagers are turning up in alleyways dressed like Batman’s lover sidekick.  Batman & the Teen Titans are at the top of the Gotham Detective’s suspect list!

Chances are you missed this series. I’ve been yammering on and on about it trying to extol it’s immense quality and originality, but none of you listened. Now the series is dead, just like the proverbial Robin. I am sad.

BATMAN: EGO AND OTHER TAILS HC.  Written and illustrated by Darwyn Cooke.  Since Darwyn Cooke is all the rage, here’s everything Bat-related that he’s ever done.  Catwoman: Selina’s Big Score, Batman: Ego, a black & white backup and selections from Solo are collected here in one giant package.  A “Darwyn Cooke Batman Omnibus”, if you will.

Best known for his NEW FRONTIERS mini series, his best work may have been the BATMAN EGO story (included… but you knew that, it’s the freaking title of the book).

SHADOWPACT #13.  By Willingham and Hampton.  Also known as the B-list All Stars, now featuring Zauriel. It’s ok if you don’t know who that is, it means you might have a girl friend.

JUMP ON HERE! ACTION COMICS #850.  Written by Kurt Busiek.  Illustrated by Renato Guedes.  Superman visits the 31st Century to see Supergirl, who apparently can stab you with shiny stuff out of her back.  Because that’s what makes Supergirl appeal to girl readers?  I don’t know.

JUMP ON HERE! BLUE BEETLE #15.  Written by J. Torres.  Illustrated by Freddie Williams II.  Cover by Cully Hamner.  Blue Beetle meets Superman!  Blue Beetle is an awesomely fun read, by the way.

JUMP ON HERE! JSA CLASSIFIED #26.  Written by Frank Tieri.  Illustrated by Matt Haley.  Wildcat fights an underground superhero gambling ring.  Wildcat would kick everyone's ass in the UFC.

JSA PRESENTS: STARS AND S.T.R.I.P.E. VOL 1 TP.  Written by Geoff Johns.  Illustrated by Lee Moder.  Early Geoff Johns work and the introduction of Courtney Whitmore, who is in the new JSA or something? 

SHOWCASE PRESENTS THE ATOM VOL 1 TP.  Written by Gardner Fox.  Illustrated by Gil Kane, Murphy Anderson, and Sid Greene.  Before he became a total pussy and shrank himself out of existence, Ray Palmer had some wacky adventures!

THE TRIALS OF SHAZAM VOL 1 TP.  By Winnick and Porter. The series is top notch fun, featuring one of DC’s most underused characters, by one of their most under-rated pencillers. The only down side, DC split the miniseries into 2 trades… but if you missed out, or are short on cash this is a great way to read the first half.

 

WILDSTORM

JUMP ON HERE! MIDNIGHTER #7.  Written by Brian K. Vaughan.  Illustrated by Darick Robertson.  Cover by Chris Sprouse.  For those of you who can’t get enough of Vaughan writing (I’m looking at you, Y fans and RUNAWAYS fans!) and who are missing the sweet, sweet carnage of Robertson art (I’m looking at you, THE BOYS fans!) you may want to check out this issue of everyone’s favourite killing machine.

JUMP ON HERE! GEN 13 #8.  Written by Gail Simone.  Illustrated by Carlo Barberi.  The new Gen 13 kicks off their second arc, on the run from the government again.  Good times.  But in order to escape, they’ll have to trust their deadliest enemy.

JUMP ON HERE! STORMWATCH PHD #7.  Written by Christos Gage.  Illustrated by Doug Mahnke.  Lord Defile and his army of super powered freaks storm the precinct that houses the rag-tag StormWatch team.  StormWatch PHD was Wizard Magazine’s book of the month!  Do you know how rare it is for James and Wizard to agree on anything? 

A MAN CALLED KEV TP.  Written by Garth Ennis.  Illustrated by Carlos Ezquerra.  Cover by Glenn Fabry.  After killing his boss, former government agent Kev Hawkins runs away to America.  But someone is killing Kev’s old team one by one, and Kev is next on the list!

SUPERNATURAL: ORIGINS #1.  Written by Peter Johnson and Geoff Johns.  Illustrated by Matthew Dow Smith and Phil Hester.  Cover by Tim Bradstreet.  A prequel to the television series, this follows the father of Dean and Sam, as he hunts the demon that killed his wife. 

 

MINX

RE-GIFTERS GN.  Written by Mike Carey.  Illustrated by Sonny Liew & Marc Hempel. Jan Dik Seong (also known as “Dixie”) lives in the ragged edge of LA’s Koreatown.  Her only outlet is Hapkido, but just as she’s about to win a major tournament, she falls in love with a boy, which throws her totally off her game.  Now she’s got to fight not just a bunch of other people, but for the affections of some California surfboy.

 

VERTIGO

SILVERFISH HC.  Written and illustrated by David Lapham.  16-year-old Mia discovers her stepmom owns a knife caked in blood.  When she phones Daniel, a murderer from here stepmom’s past, he tells her he’s possessed by a demonic Silverfish.  And things go on making sense from there.

JUMP ON HERE! AMERICAN VIRGIN #15.  Written by Steven T. Seagle.  Illustrated by Becky Cloonan & Jim Rugg.  Cover by Celia Calle.  Part 1 of “Around the World”: Uptight Christian virgin Adam travels to Rio, because what better place to not be tempted to have sex than Brazil?

CROSSING MIDNIGHT VOL 1: CUT HERE TP.  Written by Mike Carey.  Illustrated by Jim Fern, Rob Hunter, and Mark Pennington.  Cover by J.H. Williams III.  Miyazaki movies meet weird Asian horror in this new Vertigo series.  Mike Carey’s writing a lot of high-profile books right now: X-MEN, ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR, etc, but you should also check this book out, as well as WETWORKS!  Wetworks is awesome.  (No, seriously.  I know it’s Wetworks, but it’s awesome.)

JUMP ON HERE! THE EXTERMINATORS #17.  Written by Simon Oliver.  Illustrated by Ty Templeton.  Cover by Philip Bond.  Zen-Buddhist exterminator Stretch attends an exterminating convention, where he meets old co-workers and must confront secrets of his weird past.

JUMP ON HERE! HELLBLAZER #232.  Written by Andy Diggle.  Illustrated by Leonardo Manco.  Cover by Lee Bermejo.  “Wheels of Chance, Systems of Control” part 1: Constantine must reclaim control over his messed up life, and do so he must gamble everything in a casino that hold a special place in his history.

 
     
 
    IMAGE COMICS HIGHLIGHTS
 
 

SPAWN: GODSLAYER #1 Written by Brian Holguin.  Illustrated by Philip Tan.  Cover by Jay Anacleto.  A new monthly series which tries to mix the barbarian action of Conan with the toy-selling power of Spawn.  In this first arc, the Godslayer is sent after a brutal tyrant God called The Winter King.

DRAWING FROM LIFE #1.  Written and illustrated by Jim Valentino.  Valentino returns to auto-biography comics. This guy has been drawing comics for his entire adult life, so you gotta figure he’s seen some messed up shit.  I’m sure before long, we’ll be treated to some candid Rob Liefeld stories.

GUTSVILLE #1 of 6.  Written by Simon Spurrier.  Illustrated by Frazer Irving.  This series is about the survivors of HMS Daphne, who were swallowed at sea 150 years ago.  Their descendants cling to life in the belly of the beast, hence the name: GUTSVILLE.

STRANGE EMBRACE #1 of 8.  Written and illustrated by David Hine.  Here’s a modern gothic psycho-sexual tortured romance by a guy who used to write X-Men comics. 

WARD OF THE STATE #1 of 3.  Written and illustrated by Christopher Long.  Illustrated by Chee.  Norma Balitzer is a foster mother who trains her young ward to be hired killers.  Dravis Trucker is just hoping he lives long enough to get a driver’s license so he can drive away from the crazy lady.

INTERSECTIONS.  Illustrated by Duncan Fegredo & Sean Phillips.  These two great artists send a sketchbook back and forth through the mail and carry on a conversation using only ink and paint. 

ROB ZOMBIE PRESENTS THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO TP.  Written by Rob Zombie.  Illustrated by Kieron Dwyer, Tony Moore, Alex Horley, Dan Brereton, Tommy Lee Edwards, J. Scott Campbell, and more.  Apparently, there’s an animated movie coming out that’s been inspired by this graphic novel.  I’m sure there are some greasy teenagers who like looking at goth cleavage that’ll enjoy this.

TELLOS COLOSSAL HC.  Written by Todd Dezago.  Illustrated by Mike Wieringo.  A young boy named Jarek, a tiger-warrior named Koj, and a pirate princess named Serra team up to battle the terrible Malsur who wants to eat the population of the entire world.

 

TOP COW

MADAME MIRAGE #1.  Written by Paul Dini.  Illustrated by Kenneth Rocafort.  Covers by Greg Horn & Kenneth Rocafort.  Who is Madame Mirage?  And how does she manage to stay so fresh while butchering the corporate supervillains of the world?  Her secret is Secret!  Strong enough for a man, but made for quasi-sociopath vigilante women on-the-go.

Despite all the promotional materials, this series is going to be about more than just sexy cheesecake pin-up girl artwork.  Paul Dini is a writer who doesn’t disappoint, and he promises mystery and murder in this noir thriller.  And if that isn’t enough for you, there’s always the sexy cheesecake pin-up girl title character illustrated by talented new star Kenneth Rocafort.

WITCHBLADE #108  Written by Ron Marz.  Illustrated by Adriana Melo.  Ron Marz has breathed new life into this series over the past two years.  This issue continues to focus on the new bearer of the blade as she struggles to adjust to her new life with the Witchblade. 

TOP COW’S BEST OF: MARC SILVESTRI TP.  Written by various.  Illustrated by Marc Silvestri.  So, apparently, Marc Silvestri has something to do with Top Cow?  Maybe he was the genius who thought putting advertisement in the Hunter Killer hardcover was a good idea. 

 

PLATINUM STUDIOS

KISS 4K #1.  Written by Ricky Sprague.  Illustrated by Daniel Campos.  Cover by Rodolfo Migliari.  Wow.  A Rob Zombie comic and a KISS comic in the same month?  Talk about scraping the bottom of the has-been rock star barrel. 

KISS has their own comic group and their going to conquer the industry through the power of rock!  In this series the rockers most protect the Earth with the warrior spirits they carry within.  Sounds like their other series, except this one doesn’t seem to involve any circuses, psycho or otherwise.  But that’s not even the good part.  The variant edition is two and a half feet tall (a comic book world record) and retails for $75 of your hard-earned un-American money!

 
     
    MARVEL COMICS HIGHLIGHTS  
 

CIVIL WAR

FALLEN SON DEATH OF CAPTAIN AMERICA CAPTAIN AMERICA. Written by Brian Michael Bendis.  Illustrated by John Romita Jr.  Watch Cap weep for fallen buildings!  “We…we’re just fighting!”  Seriously.  What?

FALLEN SON DEATH OF CAPTAIN AMERICA SPIDER-MAN Written by Jeph Loeb.  Illustrated by David Finch.  Spider-Man makes the poorest decisions EVER:  He joins Tony Stark, and then Stark becomes a fascist.  So he joins Captain America, then Captain America becomes a sissy.  His loved ones get shot.  So he decides to dress like Venom.  Seriously.  What?

This just proves that anybody could run Marvel Comics.   We all know that yes putting him "Back in Black" is a good idea as the movie is coming out soon... but seriously make a tiny effort by giving a plausible reason for him to return to a costume that symbolises one of the darkest points in his life. Sheeesh!

FALLEN SON DEATH OF CAPTAIN AMERICA IRON MAN. Written by Jeph Loeb.  Illustrated by John Cassaday.  Iron Man is supposed to be super smart.  He and the Illuminati had 100 ideas to make the world a better place, and his super powered prison was #42.  Shooting Hulk into space was probably #25.  But building a clone Thor was #2.   #1 was building an Iron Man suit powered by gin.

Marvel still has not released the picture for this issue so in the meantime here's a look at the: MARVEL SPOTLIGHT  CAPTAIN AMERICA REMEMBERED.

 

WORLD WAR HULK Screw that pansy ass World War 3 over at DC.

Check out the first couple of pages over at Newsarama: http://www.newsarama.com/WWLA_07/Marvel/mondo.html

 I have big hopes for the World War Hulk event.  I really want Hulk to eat someone.  Like Quasar.  I want hulk to eat Quasar.  Or Wonder Man.  Or Shatterstar.  Man, there are so many lame Marvel characters!  Like Unus the Untouchable.  Or Jubilee! She would kind of  spark like flavour crystals! Maybe he will rip off Blackbolt's stupid Tuning fork and use it as an actual fork.

WORLD WAR HULK PROLOGUE: WORLDBREAKER.  Written by Peter David.  Illustrated by Various.  Cover by John Romita Jr.  As Hulk gets ready to exact his revenge of the Illuminati, he relives his past battles with Iron Man, the Fantastic Four, Dr. Strange and the Inhumans. 

INCREDIBLE HULK #106.  Written by Greg Pak.  Illustrated by Gary Frank.  Warbound part 1: Hulk crashes on Earth, hellbent on revenge.  His first target: NEW JERSEY.  Which Marvel heroes will fight to save it?

It all starts here. After being exiled into space by those self righteous Illuminatians… Illuminites…Illuminatiers… jerks in the Illuminati, Hulk made some angry alien gladiator friends. Now he’s back, and pissed off like nobodies business. How do the fractured heroes of Earth stop him? Will some of them join him? Will Spiderman get yet another big sales boost from a new costume? Maybe some crazy green Hulk Spider-armour with the shiny tinfoil so the Hulk won't eat him.

Read Richards would be like a giant wad of chewing gum to the Hulk.

MOVING ON...


JUMP ON HERE!
 ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #42. Written by Mike Carey.  Illustrated by Pasqual Ferry.  Part 1 of “Silver Surfer”.  Didn’t we already see an Ultimate Silver Surfer in the Ultimate Galactus trilogy?  Well, it was a silver guy.  But he had wings and not a surfboard, so I guess it doesn’t count. 

JUMP ON HERE!  ULTIMATE X-MEN #82. Written by Robert Kirkman.  Illustrated by ???.  Cover by Yanick Paquette.  Part 1 of “The Underneath”: Ultimate Nightcrawler runs away from the Ultimate X-Men and gets ultimate garbage thrown at him for being ultimately ugly.  So he goes into the ultimate sewers and joins the Ultimate Morlocks. 

SENSATIONAL SPIDER-MAN ANNUAL #1. Written by Matt Fraction.  Illustrated by Salvador Larocca.  An old lover gives Mary Jane an option: If she turns in Spider-Man, she doesn’t have to be a fugitive anymore.  It’s like Indecent Proposal, only instead of sex with Demi Moore and Woody Harrelson we have a hot chick and a neurotic lead male who is constantly in trouble with the law…

SPIDER-MAN FAIRY TALES #1. Written by C.B. Cebulski and David Sexton.  Illustrated by Ricardo Tercio.  Spider-Man’s fairy tale involves none of his loved ones getting shot in the face, no atomic wedgies during high school and college, and 15 minutes of solid cuddling with Nikola Tesla, as played by David Bowie.

JUMP ON HERE!  BLACK PANTHER #28. Written by Reginald Hudlin.  Illustrated by Francis Portella.  Cover by Arthur Suydam.  Part 1 “Marvel Zombies”: Man, they just can’t get over these Marvel Zombies. 

Black Panther goes to the Zombie World. That’s your preview, now for an informal poll how many people would actually read this book if it wasn’t constantly tied into other stories. X-men Wild Kingdom, Wedding of the Century, Civil War, Fantastic Four, and Now Marvel Zombies. Five bucks says issue 30 is a World War Hulk tie in, and then maybe it’s off to the Age of Apocalypse, and then we’ll fight some spider clones. Yay!!!! 

But how cool would it be for the Hulk to eat all the Infinity Gems... okay Moving on, again...

MARVEL ZOMBIES: DEAD DAYS. Written by Robert Kirkman.  Illustrated by Sean Phillips.  Cover by Arthur Suydam.  This is actually a prequel to the first series.  Watch Spider-Man eat his pretty wife!  No misogynistic metaphors there, right? Ha! Ha!  That’d be like ass-raping the wife of a beloved Silver Age character!  Ha! Ha!  Comics would NEVER stoop that low! 

The original Zombie team. The newest cash cow. Somebody wake me when this idea is finally over exposed.

JUMP ON HERE!  MS. MARVEL #15. Written by Brian Reed.  Illustrated by Aaron Lopresti.  Cover by Greg Horn.  Part 1 of “Ready, A.I.M., Fire!”  With no more Civil War bandwagon to ride on, Ms. Marvel decides to beat up MODOK.  Because MODOK is fat.

IRON FIST #6. Written by Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction.  Illustrated by David Aja and Travel Foreman.  This is the conclusion to the first arc of the new series, and shame on you if you haven’t already been reading this great new series.  The writers bring a vision to this character that is faithful to what has come before, but also create some fantastic and fresh new elements that make Iron Fist finally seem more than some outdated kung-fu master. 

SILVER SURFER: REQUIEM #1 of 4.  Written by J. Michael Straczynski.  Illustrated by Esad Ribic.  From the solicits, it sounds like Silver Surfer has cancer: “Now his ride is about to come to an end.  It starts with a small spot – a blemish that will spread until he is no more.”  Looks like Silver Surfer has been getting a little too close to Spider-Man, if you know what I mean.  (If you don’t, go read Spider-Man Reign)

Norrin Radd has surfed the galaxy for decades witnessing the rise and fall of entire species, but now his time is drawing to a close. Now the shiny one makes one last trip home, before he draws his last breath.

JUMP ON HERE!  CABLE DEADPOOL #40.  Written by Fabian Nicieza.  Illustrated by Reilly Brown.  Cover by Skottie Young.  Part 1 of “Fractured”: Cable fights an alien soul vampire named Hecatomb.  Whatever…

JUMP ON HERE!  NEW X-MEN #38.  Written by Christopher Yost & Craig Kyle.  Illustrated by Skottie Young.  Part 1 of “Quest for Magik”: New artist Skottie Young!  The New X-Men battle the demon lord Belasco.

MARVEL ILLUSTRATED: LAST OF THE MOHICANS #1 of 6. Written by James Fenimore Cooper.  Adapted by Roy Thomas.  Illustrated by Steven Kurth.  Cover by Jo Chen.  THE RETURN OF HAWKEYE!  If you haven’t read the book, you probably won’t get that.

 

ICON

POWERS VOL 11: SECRET IDENTITY TP.   Written by Brian Michael Bendis.  Illustrated by Michael Avon Oeming.  New Powers Trade!

CRIMINAL VOL 1: COWARD TP.  Written by Ed Brubaker.  Illustrated by Sean Phillips.  Leo can plan and execute any heist, but likes to play it safe.  But a woman from his past comes up with a scheme to rip off diamonds from Police Evidence, and Leo’s life goes out of control.

JUMP ON HERE! CRIMINAL #6.  Written by Ed Brubaker.  Illustrated by Sean Phillips. Tracy Lawless is that last surviving son of a once-famous family of crooks.  Twenty years ago, Tracy traded a life of crime for a life in the military.  But when he comes back from Iraq to find his brother dead, Tracy’s going to have to go back to the sordid life he thought he left behind to uncover the ugly truth.

 

DABEL BROTHERS

MAGICIAN APPRENTICE VOL 1 HC.  Written by Raymond E. Feist.  Adapted by Michael Avon Oeming & Bryan Glass.  Illustrated by Brett Booth & Ryan Stegman.   Some kind of fantasy book for people who think elves are sexy.

RED PROPHET: THE TALES OF ALVIN MAKER VOL 1 HC.  Written by Orson Scott Card.  Adapted by Roland Bernard Brown.  Illustrated by Renato Arlem & Miguel Montenegro.  Strange alternate history fantasy comics adaptation.

 

MARVEL GRAPHIC NOVELS

SILVER SURFER VOL 1 HC. Written by Stan Lee.  Illustrated by John Buscema & Jack Kirby.  Before Norrin Radd falls victim to the crippling spider-sperm, go back and enjoy his earliest adventures in an attractive oversized hardcover.

FANTASTIC FOUR: THE END PREMIERE HC. Written and illustrated by Alan Davis.  Jessica Alba refuses to sign for another film and people stop caring about the franchise.  It’s the end of the Fantastic Four!

ULTIMATE GALACTUS TRILOGY HC. Written by Warren Ellis.  Illustrated by Trevor Hairsine, Steve Epting, Steve McNiven, Tom Raney, and Brandon Peterson.  Ultimate Galactus is a giant bug from outer-space that’s shaped like the Kirby helmet.  This is your avant-garde New Comics. 

SPIDER-MAN NEWSPAPER STRIPS VOL 1 HC. Written by Stan Lee.  Illustrated by John Romita.  Marvel jumps on the Complete Newspaper Comic Strip Hardcover circus and offers us the Spider-Man comics that ran from 1977-1980.

CIVIL WAR: WAR CRIMES TP. Written by Frank Tieri.  Illustrated by Staz Johnson.  Collects the Civil War: War Crimes one shot!  Also collects the five issue UNDERWORLD mini series that had nothing to do with Civil War!  But you’ll buy it anyways!

CIVIL WAR: WOLVERINE TP. Written by Marc Guggenheim.  Illustrated by Humberto Ramos.  Wolverine hunts down Nitro, child-killer of Stamford Connecticut. 

CIVIL WAR: X-UNIVERSE TP.  Written by Peter David & Fabian Nicieza.  Illustrated by Dennis Calero & Staz Johnson.  Quicksilver returns to re-power the depowered mutants!  Deadpool joins the registration and hunts down the Great Lakes Avengers (but really wants to kill Daredevil)!  Cable joins the Resistance and hands Captain America a tissue!

BLACK PANTHER: CIVIL WAR TP.  Written by Reginald Hudlin.  Illustrated by Scot Eaton, Manuel Garcia, and Koi Turnbull.  The Black Panther and his wife Storm travel around the world!  To Latveria to see Dr. Doom! To the moon to see the Inhumans!  To Atlantis to see Namor!  To New York to fight Clor and wipe away Captain America’s manful tears!

DOCTOR STRANGE: THE OATH TP.  Written by Brian K. Vaughan.  Illustrated by Marcos Martin.  Together they have told what has to be considered on of the 5 best Stephen Strange stories ever. Now available in one handy book. This trade paperback collects one of the better Doctor Strange stories in years, and is well worth picking up.  If you missed the five issue mini-series, this collection is your chance to treat yourself to a great story by one of the most consistent writers in comics right now.  Brian K. Vaughn writes a story that builds upon the long and rich history of this character but adds some much needed humanity and humour.  The art is wonderfully reminiscent of the work of Steve Ditko, and works wonderfully for this story. 

A side note Dr. Strange joined a side AFTER Civil War was over.  And he joined the side that lost.  I thought Doctors were supposed to be smart?

BLADE: UNDEAD AGAIN TP.  Written by Marc Guggenheim.  Illustrated by Howard Chaykin.  Blade fights Santa Claus.  No, really. 

 
     
 
 TOYS & MISC. HIGHLIGHTS
 
 

SUPERMAN VS DOOMSDAY COLLECTORS SET.  With two very cool Action Figures, one of Superman and one of Doomsday (obvious eh?) and the Death of Superman TP, this is one great deal, or check out the action figure set based on the new animated movie.

BATMAN STATUE DARK CRUSADER.  Okay you guys remember the Superman Forever Statue... right? If no click here.  Well this is the second statue available from Alex "Grandpa" Ross. With a similar base this statue stands 12" high.  You may remember this pose from the (sold out) Batman War on Crime treasury size edition comic or the Oversized poster by Alex Ross.  I highly recommend pre-ordering this statue in advance as I am sure this Statue will most likely sell out.  It seems that these will be part of a long line of of statues based on Alex Ross art with one maybe coming out once a year.

WORLD OF WARCRAFT ACTION FIGURES.  Can over 8 million people be wrong?  I don't think anyone could have predicted the success of this game.  But I have a feeling you can bet on the figures to be a success as well.  These figures are very detailed and are almost mini statues. 4 figures are going to be released in October. Choose between ORC SHAMAN: REHGAR EARTHFURY, BLOOD ELF ROUGE: VALEERA SANGUINAR, DWARF WARRIOR: THARGAS ANVILMAR and UNDEAD WARLOCK: MERYL FELSTORM.

AFRO SAMURAI ACTION FIGURES . Talk like Samuel L. Jackson and fight off snakes at a high altitude. Wait, I mean smoke cigarettes and wear a head bandana with a #1 on your head while your afro swings ever so softly in the wind and talk to dead people. Yeah that's it.

From the hit cartoon series on Spike TV get your Samurai freak on!

MARVEL ZOMBIE ACTION FIGURES. I wish I had a cash cow.

ROBCOP 3-D WALL HANGING POSTER.  Don't move creep! Dead or alive your coming with me! Drop it!

Ahhh Mcfarlane strikes again with another 3-D nostalgic poster of the cult hit Robocop!  I only wonder if they will put pictures of how to hang it up on your wall like they did with the  Rocky Horror Picture Show one.  Man they must think people are stupid.

CTHULHU PLUSH PILLOW Who wouldn’t want a 20” plush pillow of the Dark One himself?  Nothing says cute, like pillows of ancient soul-devouring elder gods. 

STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES – “CLOTH RETRO” SERIES 1 KIRK & KLINGON ACTION FIGURES  Remember Mego?  Well, it seems that Diamond Select has gotten their hands on the molds and are making them for a new generation.  Eight inch tall Kirk and Klingon with real cloth uniforms.  Recreate your very own Twisted Toyfare Theatre or Robot Chicken (camera and writing staff not included).

FUTURAMA SERIES 1 ACTION FIGURES Futurama is coming back to TV and guess what, Futarma Toys are coming back as well. Brand New-episodes equals brand-new figures.  This is the first assortment of 3 and best of all, each figure in the first three assortments comes with one of the six pieces to assemble the Robot Devil!

CLASSIC MARVEL FIGURINE COLLECTOR MAGAZINES  From the UK check out these amazing Die-Cast Metal figures that come with a complimentary magazines all about the character including a detailed history and background on the featured character. Each character is to scale of each other and average about 3 1/2" - 4" tall.

This month features THOR, THE BEAST, IRON FIST, SHADOWCAT (Kitty) with Dragon & Two different versions of CAPTAIN MARVEL.

SPIDER-MAN BOWEN MINI-BUSTS. Wow, these are sweet looking and I can't decide which one I like better.  With the upcoming Spider-man 3 Movie coming out these won't last long an even still with the limited production there is no guarantee that we will even get one.  If you are a Spider-Man fan like me then you already know how hard it is to find a good sculpt as most really are not that good.  Better pre-order this one in advance as we will be filling orders on a first ordered, first served basis.

 
 

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